Monday, April 23, 2012

A Day In The Life

My day started at stupid o'clock. That's four in the morning for those of you who wear a watch. I talked myself in to laying in bed like a lump for about a half hour before I realized that all I was doing was using my phone to research things I could have been viewing on a bigger screen. So up I got.

I turned on my computer, made a half a pot of coffee and went for a smoke. When I arrived back at the computer I sat down freshly nicotined, coffee in hand, and said: "I am going to be productive!"

I proceeded to play games online for three hours.

Productivity fail.

I took my niece to her therapist appointment. I have only been there with her once or twice but I feel we had a real breakthrough session today. The therapist and me, that is. My niece sat on my phone and played this silly little game that my son downloaded onto my phone called "Stair Dismount". Every so often, my niece would shout: "YES! I broke his head off!" (The game requires you to knock someone down a flight of stairs - or something equally diabolical. You can add a face to the fake person from your photo album.) My niece kicked her cat down the stairs. At her therapists appointment. Good job, kiddo. 

Almost two hours later, when we were leaving, I was trying to explain what she was talking about before it was assumed I had corrupted her. Thankfully, the therapist's kids also find the game really amusing. One less thing to worry about.

The mailbox spit a copy of "The Forensic Casebook" at me when I arrived home. The lovely Kristy Lahoda sent it to me as a prize for a contest she had run on her blog Explosive Faith

I gloated to my niece about it for a few minutes - she has recently taken an "interest" in forensic "something with bodies" (even though she has no idea what that actually entails - she says she wants to do it because it sounds cool o.O) - then I went to my room, turned on my computer and told myself: "I am going to be productive!"

And here I am, forty-five minutes later, wrapping up my second blog post in just over a day. (I used the book as bribery... Bribery, it gets you everywhere...;)

Maybe I'm on to something. While we wait to find out, you can catch up with me on Twitter or Facebook.



Sunday, April 22, 2012

Excuse Me, Ma'am, But Are Those Eyeballs in Your Cupboard?

I have been preoccupied as of late, and when your mother calls you to inform you that you are well overdue for blog posting, you know you're in trouble. I felt like a teacher calling me out for not doing my homework, trying to spin together an excuse better than "my dog ate my blog post".

My dog has eaten many things, but the blog post isn't one of them.

Truth is, I have a dozen posts written, but I don't know what I can and can't post.

It's not because I am afraid I will offend my readership. It's because I'm caught up in a court action where some of what I have written and discussed as an auther with the complaining party has been entered into court record as fact.

For anyone who has read my book, you will know that this does not paint me in the best light. Even M, the Kiwi I spent 10 days with on a portage trip in Algonquin Park over the summer, has told me that my book is not the best look.

So I am nervous. What if I write the wrong thing? What if I think the wrong way? Is my blog going to be entered into court as fact as well? It has me worried to the point that I will draft a post, then allow it to collect dust with the other recent posts. I don't want to make things worse.

For a few weeks I stopped writing altogether. Sounds silly, right? But I had to print off all my works in progress so I could justify certain things that have come up in a 72 page long affidavit that I find to be highly critical. Does that mean that anything that I have written since then is also going to be scrutinized? Does that mean that if my characters say something my motive will be called into question?

So many questions, and I still can't get any answers.

I am the kind of person who finds it hard to articulate a point unless I have gone over it two or a dozen times in my head first. I need to be able to write things down and revise them until I feel more confident in my response. I feel as though my fate has been stripped out of my control and handed off to a lawyer whom I know nothing about. This is scary stuff.

Today I decided that I would say something - anything - on my blog. To hell with what it says to anybody else. It's my blog, it's my book, and those are my characters living in my head. I feel strangely liberated, even while I debate the stupidity of pushing the post button.

If my world doesn't implode overnight, maybe tomorrow I will start dusting off some drafts and posting those as well.

If you don't hear from me for another month, then you will be able to find me collecting shards of my life and trying to reassemble them with super glue.

Until then, you can find me on Twitter or Facebook